Philadelphia Boudoir and Queer Couples Photographer
Body and Fat affirming Boudoir Photographer based in Philadelphia, PA. Queer Couples Photographer based in Philadelphia, PA. Body positive. Fat positive. LGBTQIA+. Latiné owned Philadelphia photography business.
You know….I spent a lot of the past few weeks beating myself up for - once again - wallowing in the very real lingering feelings of failure (lingering from my past business monster self). These feelings always come up when I start making offerings again. I get down on myself. I second-guess myself. I talk myself out of believing that people want what I offer. It’s so overwhelming sometimes that I just shut down.
I see other photographers out there DOING IT and it’s awesome. They’re making $$$$$$$!!! Like…a lot of money!! And they’re making beautiful work, connecting with awesome clients, and so much more. From where I’m sitting, they’re doing The Thing I wanted to be doing - they’re doing The Thing that I can often perceive as theeee most successful. And - to be clear - they ARE successful - especially if that is part of what success is for them. I celebrate this whole heartedly.
The reality for me, though, is that I simply do not have it in me anymore.
I simply cannot get back into the headspace I used to live in constantly where I was always always always trying to make more, grow more, get more followers, get more recognition, etc. It feels really fucking hard to write this for everyone to see, but…I very plainly don’t care about those things anymore. I think lots of parts of my brain are catching up with that fact, though, and I tend to default into feeling like I NEED TO BE DOING THOSE THINGS OR I AM NOT A LEGITIMATE PHOTOGRAPHER. Cognitively I know that isn’t true, but subconsciously, I am struggling with it.
So many things are true at once. Do I need more income? Yes, I absolutely do.
And
I just can’t plop the responsibility of “generating income” all on my photography business. I do believe that I should be paid for my work, and I want to be paid for my work :) but, my past self would have been aggressively clawing at it, gunning for more bookings/money, and making myself bitter and resentful. My present self is working to let go of all of that as much as humanly possible. That’s tough when income is a necessity and I have a small kiddo and I am living paycheck to paycheck, but damnnnn I cannot do it the other way anymore. I wouldn’t be staying true to myself and my values.
I make photos because I love looking at people. I’m inspired by the incredible and vast variation of bodies, faces, hair, skin color/tone/texture. I’m inspired by peoples’ individual, unique movements and physical quirks. Their facial expressions or the way their head tilts when they relax a bit. I love to notice the way someone folds their arms or holds their own hand.
I don’t ever pull out my camera to photograph nature or architecture or landscapes, no matter how beautiful.
I see PEOPLE and I want to photograph them, draw them, witness them move and laugh and sing and cry and hold themselves. I want to hold space alongside them. I want to see them. That’s why I take photos.
I like to say I’m a recovering Capricorn. Yes, I’m ambitious. I’m powerful. I’m strong-willed and I…..love being right hehe. But I work hard to really really really understand where my ambitions are aimed. Where my power is being focused. Where and how my strong-will and my thirst for knowledge are being put to use. And the truth of the matter is that I am not ambitious to make big money via my business. I am not interested in putting my power toward growing and scaling and gaining recognition and all that. My strong-will and my desire to be right are both traits that I have to step back and reflect on when they come up for me. They are no longer things I want to use against others, or against myself. I am a Capricorn AND I want to allow myself to be soft. To be wrong! To be persuaded. To let go of the idea that my photography work has to be some big huge financial success.
Very simply put — I want to photograph people.
If you’ve been around a while, or follow me on Instagram, you probably know that the past 5-7 years have been a wild wild wild ride. So many moments of confusion, a constantly-scattered brain space, and the inconsistency in my ability to show up on social media or in my business in general. As always, I’m forever in the goo. Even when my butterfly wings sprout, I still come back to the goo. I am always shifting and morphing, and this is the reality of my personality, capacity, and life at the moment.
With all that said - OBVIOUSLY I would like to photograph you!!!!!
Join me in my sweet, cozy, cute lil home in Northeast Philadelphia for a Boudoir Session or a Queer Couples Session.
Dreamy and connecting!!! How perfect are these photos of my beautiful friend Core? I cannot get over them. I never will!!
Love the vibe? Book the session.
We will be working in my dining room area - a very small space, but it’s all we need. Photography doesn’t need much to be magical, to be honest. It’s you, me, and my camera. The vibes will be vibing and we’ll be connecting….poof…MAGIC.
See what I mean below? I transformed my dining room in my little Philadelphia row home into a dreamy, ethereal set.
REMEMBER - I want you to come as you are.
The jiggles, the dimples, the saggy skin, the pimples, the belly laughs, the thundering thighs, the top surgery scars, the bed-head, the deep breaths, the armpit hair, the welling up of unbelievable emotion from the CONNECTION and for the grounding nature of working with a photographer who sees you.
Sessions with me are meant to be a way to celebrate yourself, and celebrating yourself can be so so so healing. If your gut is telling you to go for it, that means it’s time.
